One of the greatest disadvantages of being a single mom with four children is that when one of them gets sick, we all end up staying home. I was woken up by my five year old daughter this morning wheezing and coughing. The cold weather has made her asthma flare up. So we ended up staying home and resting. Just one more thing adding to an already stressful weekend.
I've come to the conclusion that although this is our third deployment, what makes this surreal is that it comes so close on the heels on the last deployment. To add to that, with training and other TDYs he was only home for about 10 months, 10 very busy months. I feel like we barely had time to breathe and get used to being around each other again.
Hopefully returning to the routine on Monday will help me break out of this funk I'm finding myself in. Keeping busy always helps because I have little time to think about being lonely. I can't say that I'm ever really alone because of the kids and my wonderful friends, but they can't take the place of my best friend and the absence of him at the table, on the couch, running next to me, and in our bed make me feel lonely. Like most women in my position, the quiet time in the evening after the kids are asleep is bittersweet. I love being able to unwind, have a glass of wine, and watch shows off the DVR, but I miss the adult conversation and being able to share my day with my husband.
I can't wait till he gets internet access in his room...seeing his face and talking to him, even if it is only for a few minutes, helps me get through my days.
1 comment:
Well said Sara, it is exactly how I feel this time around as well. It was all very surreal and I am in more of a funk than the last two times. I guess like kids each one is different. I enjoyed reading your insight.
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