Sunday, November 28, 2010

DD#16 Not So Much

I love Christmas, it's probably my favorite holiday. I can't think of a better reason to celebrate, than the birth of our Lord and Savior. Advent is full of excitement as we prepare our hearts for what is to come. We have never given our kids gifts from Santa because I truly believe it draws attention away from the true meaning of Christmas. I also want my kids to know that Scott and I have given them these gifts because we love them and want them to be happy, not some imaginary man in a red suit because they have been good. I also hate the thought of lying to my kids and making them believe something that isn't real. They can't see Jesus either, but they believe in Him. How are they going to feel when they find out we've been lying about Santa and the Tooth Fairy??

I got off on a tangent there and away from my point...this year, I'm not so excited.  Really, it just seems like one more event or holiday without Scott around. As I was putting his care package together today I found myself becoming angry that I was even having to do it. I don't have these moments often, but this year seems to be a little harder than others. Maybe its just that, at a little over two weeks, its finally starting to sink in that he's not just TDY somewhere and really isn't coming home for awhile. I'm sure it didn't help that one of my kids has been having a rough time with this deployment and I'm already needing a break. Of course, that's not going to happen and I'll just have to push on. I'm sure being back in our routine will help next week, but I'm ready to get out of here and head to my parents house for Christmas. Too bad I have to get through half of December first!

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